Already 2019, has exceeded its possibilities of being one of my best years yet.

A new career working as a foster parent recruiter and my first art exhibit was held last Monday at the Elkhart library. I sold one of my first canvas, with promises of more to be sold!

All of this has happened organically. I'm very excited about how God is guiding my direction with my art. I also had the special treat of speaking too!

My oldest son and oldest daughter both have been promoted on their positions. God is good.

God is so amazing... I'm glad to back!

Hiatus from my life

It's not a good thing to stop, creating, posting or even to allow technology to throw you a glitch.
World, I am back... disappointed that the name of my website has been hijacked for a completely different purpose.

Yet, I'm happy to be back posting again, even though it's been almost three years since my last post.


Signed...Janice

The Mother of FiveJoys!!

FiveJoys

As I explore this vast arena of writing, I find that writing about my relationship with Jesus Christ, cycling and my five children (who are now young adults living on their own) brings me the greatest of joy.

While you are browsing through my main blog, feel free to glance at another blog specifically dedicated to mothers of five. Fivejoys.

There you will find my joyful expressions about my children.  My first blog 'Five, Five! How many is Five?' was delivered as a speech for Toastmasters. My most recent post, 'Paradoxically So' is my attempt to reignite my passion for writing. Enjoy!

Cycling: Preparation

Day 22 #My500words written  in 2015, posted in 2016

I find that writing in the morning has the best essence for inspiration. My thoughts are fresher with ideas of things to come. Whereas, if I wait and write later in the day, so many other distractions flood the day and the inspiration is lost. I do feel a sense of lost of incompleteness when I don’t write at all. So although, I am writing my daily words of 500 at 10:12 pm and the inspiration seems faint. I still have  a desire to write.

So write I shall! Today, I woke up very tired from the night before because I was awaken continuously throughout the night for bathroom breaks, too hot, too cold and of course from constant banging from the upstairs neighbors. When 5:00 am rolled around I couldn’t sleep any longer. So I prepared myself to go on a twenty mile ride. Realizing that I didn’t have the proper nutrition to ride for that length of time. Instead of waiting for my regular store that I purchased my GU and protein bars from to open up, I stopped by the local fitness gym. They only carried some with energy bars that I was not familiar, leaving me to speculate on how my body would respond while exerting energy. 

I started my 20 mile trip north on A1A at one of my favorite places, The Cove in Deerfield Beach. It had been such a long time since I had ridden that route, some places didn’t look familiar. I love cycling by the vast ocean  and watching the waves come crashing onto the beach as I cycled by. I was pedaling about 14 to 15 mph, conscious of the lessons that Rick my trainer had taught me the day before. Pulling up my clips with the pedal, pushing back with my heel to develop an even cadence.  As I focused on what he taught me, my pedaling began to flow effortlessly and my the speed increased. I soon found myself in excess of 17-18 mph.  After a while I became hungry and I nibbled on the energy bars that I had purchased, trying to ensure I didn't eat it all up before the ride was over. I only had one water bottle and I discovered that one is not really enough for a twenty mile trip. In the future,many I decided to prepare to   two water bottles. 

I came through a patch of wet ground, and remembering Rick’s words of caution, do not ride on the white line when it’s wet and never ride your bike across the bridge when it’s wet. I really appreciated his guidance and even though I was a hired trainer, his passion for caring and being concerned were genuine, which I really appreciated.

Soon after passing Linton Boulevard, I reached my goal of 10 miles, I took a short break to adjust my saddle bag over the handle bars, drank some water, being extra careful to ration out the amount I needed for the moment and to hydrate myself back to the Cove. I still “bonked” out on the way back. Either getting in too many carbohydrates or not enough to sustain myself.  I still have not learned how to balance my riding out so that I’m not tuckered out on the way back. Then I remembered, I was tired because I didn’t get the proper amount of rest needed for a twenty mile ride. So these are some things that I must work on, plenty of rest, water, and nutrition for a long ride.  I did discover one more thing and that I need to have some better or newer riding shorts to help protect my bottom on longer rides. Whether writing or cycling, getting the proper rest before hand certainly fuels the mind and body to be prepared to function at it's best.

Inspirational: God and The Chinese Take Out Menu

Just as if Matthew Henson was starting out on his first expedition to the North Pole,

My eyes slowly yet intently scanned over a Chinese Food take out menu. Starting at the top left from appetizers to combination plates, carefully musing over each item as if I was studying for a college final exam. I gently turned to the back page where the Luncheon Specials were listed. I knew I needed to make a decision some time within this year, but what? What would I choose? Okay, okay…ummm. Oh, I will have….ummm. Oh, I know! I’ll take the Sweet and Sour Chicken with fried rice and an egg roll!

If it were possible for scientist to track the DNA of the food I have consumed over the course of thirty years, they would discover my chromosomes are actually made up of Sweet and Sour Chicken with fried rice and an egg roll.  So why do I have a hard time of deciding which item will I select on a menu that has over 8 choices of appetizers, 6 choices of soup, 30 combination plates, 42 luncheon specials and I won’t tell you how many Chef’s Specialties are listed. In fact, why is my choice always the same?

There are a host of exotic dishes which I have not experienced as of yet, for instance; “Dragon meets Phoenix, Bean Sprout Egg Foo Young, Beef with Szechuan Style or Roast Pork with Oyster Sauce.”  As is my relationship with God lately, I have come to a place where I only request of him the basic ‘keep my family and myself healthy, safe and help us pay our bills blessings’. It working, we are happy and God is happy so why rock the boat?

Although our God is the same God that we can in trust in daily, His mercy is new every morning! Our struggles and challenges may be the same, yet he wants to make new ways out of no way and rivers in a dry land.  Reluctantly, I recently visited the predominantly black Baptist church I grew up in over 20 years ago. I remember each Sunday service you could expect the same course of events. Two or three hymnals, women loosing their wig piece during a Holy Ghost shout, a scripture reading, offering plate and the hooping and groaning of the preacher’s sermon, that a you could set a clock by indicating the end of the service. The outer core of the building was the same, yet the inside had expanded with the extension of an east and west wing, a basketball court with an additional kitchen. However, it was just not the inner physical appearance that had been updated. The landscape of people had changed. No longer was the totality of leadership, held by white haired black men, growing slowly out of touch with how to apply scripture to the present day realities. There were young black and white men leading the services, on the deacon board, on the usher board and in the choir! As I glanced through the congregation I saw white and black couples, Asians, young, old intertwined with black people, all worshiping the same God, within the same walls. The biblical messages were taught with inspiration of the Holy Spirit and with love as the speakers applied the scriptures to our present situations.

I have been challenged to continue revisiting situations and places of my past with an open mind to discover things I have missed initially. Our God is doing a new thing, he wants us to pray with a refreshed mind and attitude, because eyes have not seen, ears have not heard all the things God has in store for us.  I have even decided to try a different entrée at the Chinese restaurant, to discover what else I have been missing.

Writing: The Silliest Writer Ever!

I have taken on the dutiful honor of crowning myself as ‘The Silliest Writer Ever!’ Thankfully, this official position of silliness, is only a momentary one and the crown shall pass on to the next silly writer, within moments of the writer realizing what everyone else has recognized for quite a while, as obliviously silly and the writer admitting under their breath slowly, “Oh, I get it now”.

Even now, as I contemplate my reign over the ‘Kingdom of Silliness’ and the all the silly things ever concocted by a writer, I have two people in mind I have yet to intrigue with my silly antidotes. The irony is that, as I sit here with my millennium list of things yet not accomplished, I am actually excited about the newly found wealth of information that I want to share with them. Yes, these two who have served more than 20 unforgiving years honing their specialty to become moguls of their craft. Their blood has laced timelines and their tear-soaked, cheeks has kept, the struggles and the disappointments of life from drying out their dreams and hopes of fulfilling their passion. Their passions have turned into a career that family, friends and yes-jealous enemies seek out their wisdom and guidance for. Why? Well, because unlike myself, they don’t start their dreams in January, whine that it’s too hard in February and quit by March. Only to start yet, another diversional grand scheme towards riches for the next three months and continue a madly insane cycle of starting and stopping to nothingness, year after year.

I find myself regularly encouraging everybody else, to write their life story. I always think that what they have to share is so intriguing and certainly the world can’t live another day without their carbon fingerprint carved eternally in the edges of the horizon. My journalistic brain starts envisioning inscribed pages, pages, which turn into articles, articles which turn into best selling books! I yell out to them “You should write! This is a fabulous story! It will be amazing!” They turn inelegantly towards me with utter bedazzlement, all the while  looking quizzically into my eyes searching for any type of life form.

As I reflect upon this newly found silly revelation, it has taken me too long to realize that I have been trying to encourage the wrong people to write. In fact, they despise even the thought of writing, it’s as if I had handed them a red velvet cupcake, with cream cheese frosting, with a live medallion cockroach anchored on it, singing the “Star Spangled Banner”, while I’m eagerly awaiting their approval of this fine delicacy of a thought.

I have come to the obvious conclusion that while am I encouraging everybody else to write a book or a blog about their passion, it is I. Yes, none other than ‘Your Highness of Silliness’ that should be writing. Not just in January or February and stop for several months, but I should be writing daily, weekly consistently.

Yes, I, Janice the writer, the motivational speaker, the artist, mom of five, lover of Jesus, beaches, jazz and cycling. I take a humble bow before my court as I exit stage left to woo my beloved Mr. Disciplined Consistency. For I have allowed him to allude me for far too long. It’s time I demanded my engagement ring and confirm our wedding date.

Thankfully, the season has come for me to embrace the realization of what has been an insurmountable task. To develop a consistent lifestyle of writing I must rely on someone much greater than myself as I humbly admit that the inconsistency of my dreams has been my weakness. Therein through my weakness God shall be my strength.  I have before me a moment-by-moment challenge to remind myself that I can do all things through Christ as Jon Bloom shares in his ‘The Insanity of Leaning on Our Own Understanding’, I shall not lean upon my own understanding as I continue writing.

Writing: My 500 Words Challenge

It is with much delight and passion that I look forward to writing early in the morning. I have decided that I wanted to develop my writing skills and abilities and to do that I need to set aside a specific time to write consistently each morning. I entered the ‘My 500 Words' in 31 Days challenge by Jeff Goins. I look forward to this time like many people look forward to a night of rest. God forgive me for taking so long, for leaning upon my own understanding. For years I have struggled with staying focused to write consistently. I would allow all types of seeming reasonable excuses to distract me from staying on track throughout the days, which turned into months and those months, eventually turned into years. Years of regret, years of wishing I had stayed focus on my writing career. I would always start, oh yes I could get started in a heart beat, although to finish on my own, well that’s the reason I have struggled all these years on my own.

I began writing in diaries that my mother gave me as a child. I don’t know if it was more of the “ right thing to do” or if she recognized something in me, because she continued to give me diaries and ensured that books were always readily available. As a child I used to find each of the fairy tales and other stories, which were embedded deep in “The Book of Knowledge” encyclopedia twenty-piece set we had at home. I can remember the day that the "Grolier Dandelion Library Book Set" was delivered to our home. 

” series were delivered to our home. A Raggedy Ann doll was included and she had a zipper located on her back, allowing for the storage of books, pajamas or what item may have intrigued a little girl at that age. My love for writing was further fueled when I begged my parents for a typewriter for Christmas and they told me that they couldn’t afford it and to my dismay on Christmas morning, there was no typewriter under the tree. My parents guided me to the dining room table where sat my first blue IBM typewriter! I screamed for joy as I ran over to the typewriter reassuring myself that it was really real as I press the buttons and turned the knobs, surely I was the happiest person in the world that day.

 As a freshmen, in high school, I remembered entering a writing contest. I was proud of my first story called ‘The Bus‘ it was like a ‘Twilight Zone’ story, I knew that they would select my story as a winner. I don’t know what became of it, since I didn’t win. I allowed that to discourage me from continuing to write publicly. My English teachers would allow the classmates to correct each other’s homework. Many times the comments on my paper were that I didn’t follow directions. I never understood how I didn’t follow the teachers instructions which only further added to my confusion and lack of confidence in my writing. When I attended my first college English class, I asked the instructor a question, his respond was “You should have learned that in High School!” I was too embarrassed to ask any more questions. Again, I allowed all of these negative events to continue fuel my lack of confidence in my writing ability. I hid my desire for writing instead of using the passion and fire inside of me to guide me to more appealing circumstances and people. As the years past and I started a family, the computer replaced my typewriter and I was able to write my thoughts down quicker and with less stress on my hand. I would find myself writing short stories here and there. I would take all of the creative writing classes available while attending in college.

A few years ago I started blogging. “Communicating Joy” is my main blog about the relationships between God and people. I have one called the “Five Joys, which I wanted to be about my life with raising my five children. I did do another blog, which I deleted because the information was too controversial. I have also started blogging about my cycling, although I think I need to create a separate blog for cycling, because my adventures in cycling are not the same as the relationships with God and raising my children is a completely different theme than the other two. So, I do have something to write about, my goal is to remain consistent, to become well known and sought after as a writer or even and editor. I want to live the life of a writer, to be free to write after a nice morning ride. To be mentally invigorated with the challenge to complete writing assignments with themes, research and deadlines. That is the life that I truly want to live. And it’s up to me to create it. Although, one thing I have not incorporated in my writing passion, is consistent prayer. I’ve tried to do this on my own. The difference is now I’m praying and asking God to help me to complete these goals, which are burning in my heart to come out. No more will I attempt to do this on my own. Constantly relying one of my favorite scriptures “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; and lean not on your own understanding.” Proverbs 3:5 KJV (Paraphrased) Prayer, prayer, prayer, and more prayer makes the difference.

So today, I am here, today I have written more than any other day.

Today I am truly enjoying my writing. At the end of the 31 days, I must find another project to challenge me to continue writing, for it is truly one of my heartfelt passions that had never died.

Writing: Access Granted!

Finally, after two laborious weeks of tedious reentering of passwords, codes and trying to reset my password for this blog spot, access was granted today!

I'm so excited to be able to start posting again on this blog which is my hearts desire.
Many exhilarating events have unfolded this week and I can not wait to start updating and posting all that has transpired since I last posted on this blog!

Happy writing ahead!
Janice

Cycling: Post Honeymoon Cycling

The Honeymoon is over, the pain has begun. My hips, my side and why are my arms hurting? Yesterday, I pushed myself out of the bed early to eat something before my ride and a hour later it began to rain, and rain hard. I felt that was a legitimate excuse for not riding my bike today, after all I was sore. As the sun came out and dried away the roads and excuses, I refused to listen to the aches and pains while preparing for my morning ride.
It's funny I wanted to ride to be alone with my thoughts, yet each time I pull up into the parking lot outside of the track, my heart sinks just a little when I realize I'm the only person riding today. There are other miscellaneous riders, but we just nod in acknowledgement as we ride past each other. It's not the same as riding with David's group at night.
As, I began my morning ride, quite prepared with my music, headphones, cotton balls for nose bleeds, water bottle, and helmet. I was quite proud of myself, until I saw another cyclist in matching riding gear.
You know, the multi-colored shirt and shorts with letters and numbers all over, mental note made to make that a goal before my first competition. Content for the moment I started riding on the 5 mile track around the Pompano Airport and then the music started jumping around. Ugh, I must get that fixed how can I ride to music that's jumping around?  The wind was no less relentless this morning as it put me through the test, the more I peddled the more it blew against me. I had originally planned to ride around the park twice. However, with all the challenges that morning, by the time I had completed a full circle, I was feeling weasey, a little light headed and just not in the mood. I packed up my bike. Gave myself a pat on the back for making it through the first day of wind and pain. Reality is starting to set in, do I really want to do this? That's what my body is saying, my brain was already trying to coordinate the next days ride.

Cycling: A Companion for the Ride

Slightly, discouraged that I was placed on a 12-9 shift 3 nights in a row, I had given up the thought of riding more than once this week. My niece text me to let me know she was coming down later that day and ask if she could come stay with me for a while. I welcomed her precious presence.

Around 5 pm she texted me that she was stranded about 30 miles north of my place of employment. I took off early to go pick her up and it was a welcome sight to see her. Halfway home I realized that I was off early enough to go riding. I asked her if she would like to join me, to my delight she said yes.  We arrive in time for David and his son to prepare a Specialized bike for her to ride. Off we went around the five mile track, the breeze was just right and twenty minutes later, she was hooked. Even though her bottom and a few muscles would be sore she thank me for sharing the experience with her. “Aunt Jan you always do fun stuff!” I was thankful to have her ride with me so that we could share the joy of accomplishment together.

Cycling: Preparation of the ride

Post-Posting:5 May , 2012

Getting ready for my long awaited bike ride has become more of a chore than I could have imagined. Even though I had just purchased some gym shoes before my surgery, the swelling in my toe wouldn’t allow me to wear them.  Just having a  bike to ride hasn’t been enough. After two months of sitting ,the air had seeped out, I had to find the proper air pump to put air in the tires again. I discovered this after I place a dollars worth of  quarters into the air machine at a local gas station. Egad what is this?  I had to purchase a helmet , front and back lights, and new earphones. What happened to the ones I bought last month? Cinco de Mayo for me was riding around the 5 mile track twice in 45 minutes. It seemed easy enough until I stopped. My hamstrings were singing a new song called “oh nothing but the pain of hamstrings,” (sung to the tune of Nothing but the blood of Jesus) As, I contemplated what I had just accomplished. I looked around and there was no one to share it with, at that triumphant moment I wished that there was at least one person to share this amazing experience with.

Cycling: Back in the Saddle

Post-Postings 3 May 2012:

I’m riding my bike now. Very exhilarating, freeing. Yesterday I rode 5 miles.  With my big toe, still very sore I was very careful about putting a gym shoe on. I met with David, the captain of the AA riding team. He adjusted the handle bars, sprayed my chain will lubrication and showed me how to properly use the gears on my bike. He reminded me to breathe through my nose, which could eventually cause my  nose bleed I know. But he said it would stop after I was breathing regularly through my nose.  I met two other AA women, it was inspiring to see other AA women riding as well.  I have my helmet, lights, seat and some sports glasses now. My next goal is to purchase the black riding shorts, get a pump for my bike, tool kit, gloves and a good water bottle for my bike. I don’t know if I need a kick stand or not.

8:30am Today, I’m going riding before work. I had a bowl of oatmeal with a few sprinkles of almonds and cranberries and a bottle of water.  I will be back in an hour. Shower for work, and leave for work about 11 am. I don’t know what happened to my headphones but it seems like I need to buy another pair AGAIN. UGH!

10:24am Wow! I’m back. I rode 8 miles on my Trek this morning, had I used the Roadmaster it would have taken me an hour, today 30 minutes! And I was  riding slowly, huffing and puffing all the way!

Cycling: Heart of Cycling

Post-Posting for Feburary

John Bingham captures my heart very well in this quote from an article he wrote:

“A race doesn’t allow you to hide from the challenges of the event or from your own limitations. You can lie all you want before the race but when the gun goes off, the truth comes out an you can’t be anything other than what you are.”

For a quarter of a century, I have hidden in the shadow of another person’s goals and dreams. On my sash of pride, I have collected supporting badges from persons to agencies.  Weekly, I receive calls from people thanking me for being there for them and loyally supporting their cause.

It didn’t make a difference it was a start up church or business, I was supportive. Don’t get me wrong, it’s good to help others out. Yet, my level of help was unbalanced as a flat tire. I never valued myself enough to believe in completing my own dreams and goals. I prided myself on being the helpful servant to others, all the while denying myself of the same sense of accomplishment that others were establishing. My dreams sat on the bench of life, waiting to be called into the game. There was always a reason an excuse for why they just sat there. Oh my work hours, oh the kids are too young, oh I’m busy helping out…

Today It’s different. For once in my life I’ve thrown my dreams out in to the cold water. Sink or swim. I’ve spoke it to enough people, where I can’t back down with out shame or excuses.   My fears, doubts of my decisions to participate in a triathlon were confirmed by Ironman Chef Joe Bastianich.

“Once you get into endurance sports, especially triathlon, it becomes a lifestyle. It’s a different way of looking at work, life and relationships.  There’s perseverance, patience, focus and a goal-oriented disposition.  It plays into the same formula for success, whatever you apply it to in life.”

Inspirational: Remembering His Mercies for Me

This morning I am reminded of "The Lords mercies, he doesn't allow financial concerns, job stress, life's frustration, injuries to consume me. My short comings and weakness are overshadowed by His love for me. His compassion doesnt' fail me. They are new every morning. Great is HIS faithfulness to me. (Lamentations 3:22-23) my translation.

Injustice: Hoodie March: Trayvon Martin

17 year old Trayvon Martin was killed unmercifully as he was returning home with skilttles and a Arizona Tea, in Sanford Florida.  The unacceptable reality is the person who shot him is still walking the streets of Sanford freely, as if the Police are rewarding him for killing a fugitive. The community of Sanford has ralleyed against this injustice. I say, it's about time.
My heart grieves for this family, yet I'm thankful that my young adult children no longer live there. The horrid reality is that this isn't the only case of injustice in Sanford. I have experienced it first hand before and have been a witness to friends who have sufffered the injustice there, its a crying shame a another child had to die before light was brought to injustice in Sanford...

GP: Happy Birthday to me! 13 Mar 12

What a glorious day that God has blessed me and so many others to see this day!
I'm actually off for the first time in years for my birthday. That within itself is wonderful.  Judy Gaskin, shares the same birthday and I know she is celebrating too. I sent her a FB happy birthday wish.  Nowadays it is customary to receive FB postings wishing you an Happy Birthday.
Today, I plan having lunch with someone very special, he is so delightful, because traveling to a nice place is out of the question for now.  One day soon I will travel to Key West and Santa Bell Islands to treat myself. Today or rather until my foot has completely healed I won't be traveling until after the end of April.
Happy Birthday, me!

Cycling: Just do me, Recovering of the BIG Toe

Last year, as I proceeded to set out on my new journey, a ran smack into life's detour. Which included a promotion, a move and a divorce. Once, settled in my new home. I began my training again. My goal, was to participate in a triathlon within the next year.(2011)


Before I moved from Lake Mary, last year I found an aqua Trex 7.2 FX, in Lake Mary, FL, My heart and mind was set on buying a Trek as my first professional bike.  I joined a local gym and started running and swimming. After 15 minutes of that type of exercising my big toe begin to hurt. A very dear friend, allow me to use his bike. With that bike I began riding up to 8 miles a day, before the weather turned cold and the chain came off of the spokes. By January, I had become complacent about my new lofty goals and  to get back on the road again, I vowed to myself that this would be the year. My next step was to see a doctor about my toe.


 I met with a really nice orthopedic doctor he said I needed surgery to correct 2 problems.  He also informed me that he road in triathlons and needed the very same surgery! Just a week later I discovered an African American riding club, which met only 4 miles from my home. Excited, I explained to the leader, David, of the club that I would be having surgery soon and that I wanted to purchase a Trek.
Two days before my surgery, David informed me that he had a bike for me.  Time and inconvenience prevented us from the bike exchange before my surgery. As soon as I was able to hop up, I met with David about the Trek. It was a purpleTrek1220 ZX, older model road bike! I have the bike sitting outside my bedroom door as a motivator for why I must stay focus on eating and healing properly.I'm just as excited and can't wait to start riding again. 
The bible teaches us to " Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, so he may run that reads it." Habakkuk 2:2 (KVJ)  I am writing the vision down and it is truly amazing to me how God is orchestrating the fulfillment of this goal!

Inspirational: Untechnicial, Jesus

I really enjoy expressing myself through the art of written communication. My goal this year is to be consistent with my blogging entries. I am quite proud of myself for forging through this mountain of procrastination. However, it has occurred to me that blogging is not for the technically challenged. I would have written sooner, but we were having "technical difficulties" with the Internet service at home.  Even though the Internet service was down, I was determined to get online to make an entry on my blog. I accidently discovered that I have Internet access on my cell phone! My cell phone still has buttons and from what my children are telling me, buttons are old fashion. Yet, because of the smaller screen I was not able to see the full screen for my email or Facebook.  Before this year, I did not see the need for updating my phone every time a new color or new style came out. Since this recent technical interruption, I have purposed to upgrade my cell phone and knowledge on the technology used today.  So, many things are changing everyday, the gas and milk prices are going up; birds, bees and fish are dying without cause and who knows what will be unhealthy to eat tomorrow! Even though technology is changing rapidly, I know that Jesus is not. I am so thankful that "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever" (Hebrews 13:8 NIV) I need to have something that is stable in my life. I need more than a computer or a Iphone, I need Jesus. Thankfully, I do not have to rely on text messages, Internet services or Facebook to communicate with him. He is within my every heartbeat. He is in each breath that I breathe, I love my Jesus.

Motivational: Just do me, Reinventing myself?

Just do me:Reinventing myself?

After I listened to a webcast Yahoo's Shine about how some women reinvented their lives, their testimonies inspired me too,“Just get busy”. I realized, yet again that I needed to do something different for myself. Throughout the years, I have seen many peoples dreams come to past. The young girl that I babysat as a teenager, now has a successful business selling popcorn, of all things! She went to the BET awards and placed pictures of herself and her famous people purchasing her popcorn on her Facebook page. I attended college with Larry Bird, who has retired from his basketball career already.  For the last, few years my two oldest children have discovered and are cultivating their individual talents and passions.  In my position of four years, as educational recruiter I had become a successful at encouraging people to face their fears and seeking their dreams all the while, like an unattended garden my dreams were slowly dying.  As much as I wanted too, I could no longer hide behind the excuse that success is for famous people in the news and not really for everyday ordinary people like myself.

Early last year,  like a mirage in the desert, I saw a dream formulating in the future with my new husband.  For 16 long relentless years’ my friend patiently waited for me. One day, I quit playing dodge ball with Cupid and was smitten by a very sharp arrow. It was his dream to marry me. “Janice you are my wife.” During those 16 years, I spent more time telling him to go find someone else than I than I did Photoshop-ing my own dream. I had resolved within myself that after experiencing two failed marriages. Surely, it was time for all the other ladies else to enjoy blissful marriage, for a change.  My ideal for my future was to continue enjoying my children, go back to school develop a unique trade. Marriage was not a requirement, not a necessity for me.

After careful reconsideration, I thought “I will have a purpose, something we can strive on together, our marriage.”  Three months later, I took the marriage receipt back to Cupid, he pointed out the “lemon law disclosure” which was inscribed with .16^th font on the rod of the arrow. No exchanges no returns, even if he walks away.  Music begins to fill the air…“Alone Again, Naturally” was that Simon and Garfunkel? No. Naturally, I was wrong again, it was actually sung by, Gilbert O’ Sullivan, the only relief I received at that moment was that according to an Internet search, I wasn’t’ the only person who was confused about the actually singer.  Are you familiar with the strange sensation that comes over you after you lock your car door on a cold wintery night and then you realize your keys are sitting in the drivers seat? That is the exact feeling I had when I realized how I had helped yet another person realize their dreams, while mine were over grown with weeds.

As of 2011 I have deleted my supportubutnotme.com website. I have received enough hits on it to create a new word for a Google search.  I was doing something right, even if it was for someone else. I have been the pillars for new churches, the new leg for everyone’s start up business. I have encouraged students to pursue their passion and to develop a successful career through education. I encouraged my oldest son to pursue his career in music despite the odds; and my oldest daughter to be sold out for Jesus and now she is in full time ministry.  So, what difference does it make if my husband dies lonely? I’m not mad at him, hope you are not.  He was able to fulfill his dreams, of course, with my help. What else were you expecting? Come on! In 2010 or before, if you had a dream … I would direct you to my website supportubutnotme.com. If you were a member, please unsubscribe.

For those women on the Yahoo site, for them there was a stellar event setting in motion another career much more fulfilling than the one they had left.  Me, I just needed to ‘ just do me’. There is no reinvention to initiate here. How could there be when I had not invented the first career yet? It’s time that I develop my quintessential skills and my talents for the purpose God had originally designed for my life.  It’s time to for me to; support me, fight for me and fight for my goals. Just do me! ‘For whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them.’  Matthew 25:29 NIV

Inspirational: Don't Forget About Joy...

Don’t forget about Joy…

I work in a sales in environment and having a positive attitude and strong numbers are very critical for me to maintain my position as the top sales rep. In 2008, my father went through surgery to remove one of his kidneys. Instead of my father staying in for a 5 days, it turned into a 5 months stay instead. A month later, my youngest daughter was jumped by two young women a few years older than she, they didn’t know she was a body builder a week. The very next weekend, my middle daughter broke her ankle while skating. The night after her surgery a glass screen door shattered over my son head. During that same month we also discovered my niece had a broken kneecap and that my youngest daughter had a hernia from body building. By the time my father was released from rehab, my niece and two daughters all had surgery within 3 weeks of each other. That particular quarter I only achieved 98% of my goal. People tried to comfort me by saying, it’s going to be alright, things will get better. What if they don’t, well that’s when I need the strength purpose and peace of God that joy can bring.

Having strength to get up and go to work everyday, to encourage strangers to pursue their dreams. Strength to take care of the healthy children as well as the sick ones, I needed strength that can only come from God. How many you have heard rejoice through the hard times? How many of you would be able to remain happy and positive through that scenario I gave. When all hell is breaking loose in my life, I had to ask myself how to I keep going. I focused on the bible promises me in Nehemiah 8:10, “The joy of the Lord gives me strength”. I focused on thanking the Lord for the healthy children, for having medical insurance, for my mother who stands faithfully by my father’s side, for having a maintain a job through the recession. As I mediate on the bible he gives me direction and comfort. Focusing on joy also gives me a purpose. Joy that brings purpose, Hebrews 12:2
"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God".

There was a reason why Jesus suffered the pain of the cross, not for glory, not to be a sensational movie hit. However, he understood that by dying as he did, he was representing all of our sins, sickness diseases, shortcomings and faults and for every putting them to death. Jesus is my example. What is my purpose, why have I suffered through? I knew that after my father's surgery, if he didn’t make it, he would be out of pain forever, and if he did make it through the surgery the doctors were removing his kidneys so that he could live longer. I knew the situations my daughters and niece were going through were stressful but in a years time they are all happy and healthier. Like Jesus I was able to focus on the end results, knowing that things would get better brought me joy and peace. Joy that maintains the peace of God,

When my employer told me they were going bankrupt and we would loose our jobs, I was not worried. Romans 15:13
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." I knew that God had another plan for my children and I. I remembered that God promised to take care of my us. I was able to walk to work everyday head held high. I had a smile for everyone, because I knew no matter what, God was going to take care of me and open the doors that I needed to have open and he did. People are always wondering, 'Janice I don’t know how you do it' or they will say 'It’s always something isn’t it? Those questions can be a hook to remind me to worry and stress espcially when I have made up my mind to focus on peace and joy.

Recently when all hell started breaking a loose again; one child was vomiting blood, I had to rush another child to the emergency room for abdominal pains and another child to the doctors because he was having numerous headaches, while I was seeking treatmeat for a damaged rotor cup. I had to leave work often to take care of my sick children, my numbers at work were starting to suffer. When things became overwhelming and stressful again and I sat down not knowing what to do. I asked myself how did I ever make it through before. Then I remembered by. Focusing on another level of joy...joy that gives strength, purpose and maintains the peace of God, through the darkest of hours, I don’t forget about joy. (This was presented as a speech for Toastmasters)